When in My Head on A Positive Note

     It has been 9 days since I have posted last. Everything has been going very well. Well minus the nights I have not slept very well, but that is due to different issues. Well, kinda. So I have made a lot of progress in my mental health and my Gender Dysphoria. Things have been looking up quite a bit. Especially since the crappy holidays are here. I feel my thoughts and feelings have now been fully put on the table to my other half after writing these. Yes, they do read these and they support me doing writing these blogs 100%. I love how supportive they are and understanding.

    One of the updates in this journey of mine is I have told my aunt. Yes! I told my aunt who, in my last post was very worried, what is going on. I switched some details around, but she now knows. She told my mom as well because I didn't really care how she reacted. I was more worried about my aunt. But my aunt took it quite well surprisingly. She did ask a lot of questions, but I think that was so she could understand what it is, what would happen, what is going on, and what I was wanting. I told her I was really scared that she would not want anything to do with me once she found out. Her response was quite the opposite. After I explained what a lot of people who come out go through, she was like I will not disown you, you are my baby. Now I tell you this about brought me to tears AGAIN! When I initially told her it was at her home and it more or so came out by her talking about a post my other half posted on social media that was shown to her. When that happened I cried so hard because I was scared, but she was the best. What got me was when she was asking about my body and what I wanted to change. She thought it was everything and I told her no not everything just the top part. When she told my mom I guess my mom's response was she already knew, but I don't know if that was about me or my partner but I really don't care. 

    Another update is I have fully gotten my brain to configure with the Gender Dysphoria. So all the circuits are connecting and accepting information. I don't have that funny feeling in my head when I try to think of myself as the way I know I am anymore. Everything feels smooth and glides well in a sense. This feeling is the best! I do not have a feeling of the doubt anymore. It is all super clear! This was all thanks to the therapist we talked to yesterday. She helped validate everything in my head. It helped me realize why my brain was not connecting was because I was still looking at things as if society was and not as the LGBTQ+ would. So it helped so much! Now thinking about the pronoun change is a little weird, but I know that will take time. So I figured anyone new I meet I am he/him and to anyone else who knew me prior it can still be what my body is. If that makes any sense. Now the anxiety on starting the medicine. This anxiety isn't bad. It is actually good, to be honest. I just need to do my research and find out more about it and what is available. Then just make the appointment to go see the medical professional and get the medicine. I am so happy to be able to start this new step in my life and in our journey!

    As always, if you or someone you know is having a hard time and need someone to talk to always feel free to comment me, and if you want it privately comment a link of a way I can contact you. No one should have to feel alone. There is always someone out there willing to help. Like the cast of Supernatural always said "Always Keep Fighting!" I love all of your faces!